Journey, and I'm not talking about that Steve Perry band!

Player A: Coach, you didn't like us at the beginning, did you?

Me: I don't like anyone at the beginning of the year. 

My wife has always dogged me about rushing to get to my destination, finish my projects or complete anything I've been tasked with. I never look around and enjoy the process but push through trying to get to the end of whatever I'm doing. Cancer has been a bit of a blessing as it's forced me to slow down and take everything in as I want to enjoy everything because quite frankly, I have no idea how much time I have left. I'm not packng it in but the reality is the cancer is aggressive, wasn't caught early and there's no treatment plan that's tried and true for people my age.* That's why I focus on process and not the final result. I want to take in and enjoy every second like savoring a nice glass of whiskey or a nice breeze.

The first thing I've taken in is how many people around me are really caring people and are bending over backwards giving me support. You'll never know how much this means to me! Whenever I'm down I read your messages again and again and they make me feel stronger or give me a good laugh. The offers of help, advice and hosting have blown me away. I've always been a guy who gets pretty emotional just ask anyone who's played for me. A close win over a tough opponent or an end of season win and I'm likely to start turning red eyed. 

Yesterday, I found out a group of people were getting together to have a fundraiser for me led by Erica C.! Once again, I'm tearing up as I write this. Damnit! I left Newfoundland, HOME, fifteen years ago and the notion anyone would do something like that means so much to me that it makes me want to beat cancer just so I can have more years knowing and meeting people like that. Cancer has made me take notice of all the people we meet and how when things are rough they step up and step up in a big way. In times of darkness the people who reach out might surprise you and the ones who are nowhere to be found will probably shock you. The friends I never hear from doesn't bother me for a second as this lesson called cancer has taught me to focus on the positive. Shocking!! Positive Paul is back and he's smiling like a pair of Mormons knocking on your door!

Practices have been a little more special this year as I've tried to enjoy every second of them. I've gotten to know the players as well as any team I've had in the past. Every drill has been special because I want to enjoy every second of them. Maybe that's been a difference as this is the first team I've ever coached to never go through a down period, get tired of practice or lose their interest for even a day. It's not because I've been easy on them. These players have been pushed, scolded, cursed, yelled at but they've gotten tougher and done the same for me. Side note, these players will never see Montreal Paul dancing on speakers. Sorry, but that's reserved for U19 1999. 

Family. Family. This is the roughest part. I've tried to enjoy every moment with them but it's harder to focus on each and every moment because the thought of leaving them brings on a crying fest and daddy taking a trip to the bathroom so Rebecca doesn't figure out what's going on. I think about them all the time and try to make sure we are planning on lots of family time and trips this summer because right now I feel good but I want to make sure it gets done while I'm still feeling strong. I enjoy the time laying around with my family a little more, they come to all my practices as I want to look over and see them, the quiet time of a cuddle with Rebecca take on a very special meaning for me and projects with Carolyn don't get put off. Ok that's BS! They get put off but I buy the materials sooner. We've had 600 square feet of flooring sitting in our living room for three weeks so who am I kidding. Family makes me focus more on beating this dickhead called cancer! My oncologist telling me we're going for a cure gives me optimism and hope for many more years with them. 

I no longer rush to get where I'm going but to enjoy every step. Clarence Sutton, one of the best coaches and people I've ever met, had a team use "every journey begins with a single step" one season as their motto. I've always liked it but I'm trying to enjoy every single step despite the fact this journey of mine began with a step into a huge pile of dog poop! When I say dog poop, I'm talking about a dog that are ten tacos kind of poop! Take the time to look around today and just enjoy the company you're with, listen a little closer to what people are saying, look around and take in the scenery while you're driving, exchange insurance information with the other driver of the car you just rear ended because you listened to my previous advice but most of all enjoy the positive stuff because the negative takes away from all the greatness around us. 

*Not planning on dying anytime soon. 

"Five players functioning on the floor as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important than the other." Norman Dale, Hooisers

#shitkickcancer