Cancer, ugh!: Disney shit happened! The end of the first chapter...

Cancer, ugh!: Disney shit happened! The end of the first chapter...: I'm writing this as I wait to see one of my oncologists to review my blood work. Hopefully, my PSA has dropped and that my white and red...

Disney shit happened! The end of the first chapter.

I'm writing this as I wait to see one of my oncologists to review my blood work. Hopefully, my PSA has dropped and that my white and red blood cell counts are good because I'm looking forward to chemo on Wednesday. I have an hour or so before I see him which is giving me some time to write and reflect on our season which ended yesterday.

December 5th seems so far away and that's a good thing because it was the darkest day of my life this far but it also shows how far I've come since my initial diagnosis. Instead of quitting and taking leave from some of the things which make me happy, with a not so gentle push from my wife, I took my life back and have kept doing everything I enjoy. At the top of that list is coaching and this year has been like no other. 

My eleven players are all in grade ten and eleven which means they're only 15 or 16 years old. They've seen their coach quit, come back, change physically and coach through bad days and good days yet they never wavered. In seven months they never quit, checked out or rebelled, they just played and practiced. Every day of this season I knew there were eleven people who had my back and likewise I was there for them. It's been special that with all the chaos of dealing with cancer I could go into the gym three days a week and forget about it and teach, push, develop relationships and improve a group of amazing people.

Months ago, when I first let the news out about my diagnosis it was also the day of our first game against Brampton and with cancer at the forefront someone told me after winning, we had some "Disney shit going on!"  They were right this season has felt a lot like something out of a Disney movie. 

A little bit about this team to put it all into perspective. We have eleven players of which 3 don't play for a school team, 3 play for their JV team, 1 just started playing organized basketball, 1 came back only 7 months after tearing her ACL and 3 come from a small school. All of that means nothing because they work hard, are quick learners, want to win, are unselfish and were pretty good players who were just overlooked in some cases.  Most importantly, they cared about each other and what they needed to do to win. 

I wasn't sure of our level at the beginning of the year so we played very defensively and let the opposition dictate how the game would be played. By mid season this style of play had us playing low scoring games, losing slightly more than we won and squeaking out wins against some weak teams. After a disappointing showing in Toronto we changed our style and began to attack and pressure everyone we faced. The players loved it and played like a totally different team. Practices became harder and more intense but the players kept working hard and improving. We went 4 and 1 in our last tournament before the provincial championships only losing to the #2 team in the province. 

We travelled to Sudbury this past weekend for the provincial championships. We earned the top seed in second division meaning we were #9 in Ontario. Ten minutes into our first game and we lost our starting center. Other players stepped up and some starters played a new position but we won that night and won the next morning. We were now in the semi-finals facing a Mississauga team we were 0-3 against this season as one player seemed to have our number. Twenty minutes before the game and I decided to teach the box and one defense to the team on a chalkboard. I gave one player, who I have come to trust on defense more than anyone else, the task to guard the star player. The reaction didn't go as I hoped.

E: I can't take her.

Me: You're F#€%ing quitting on us! That's bull?¥£%. Can you take her or do I get someone

        else?

E: I'll do it.

She took her and held her to one basket while scoring 25 points herself. That's why I love coaching. There's no better feeling than seeing someone do something they didn't realize they had in them. I don't think she'll back down from a challenge like that again. Correction, I know she'll never back down ever again! Due in part to her great game we beat them for the first time and made the Ontario Provincial Championship game.

After the game the players and their parents got a meeting room at the hotel so we could all get together. When I walked in and sat down the players surrounded me and one player gave a speech about what the season meant to the team. I kept from getting choked up but it meant so much to me. After the semi final win one player came up and said "thanks for coaching us". This team has become a family to my family. 

We played Dundas in the final which is a pretty strong team and I don't think people outside of our team thought we had a chance. We played hard but every time we got a lead they came back and went up. We were down by 4 with 4 minutes to go which felt insurmountable with two of our best players out of the game. One girl came off the bench and played almost the entire 4th quarter without a rest and played great defense. The girls never gave up on themselves and seemed more relaxed as the game got tighter. We went on a run to take the lead due to a three pointer and a pair of free throws by our best scorers. We never lost the lead and with 3.4 seconds left Dundas couldn't get it up the court in time for a good shot.

Watching the girls pile on each other and eventually on me it hit me how special this season has been. No matter how hard I was on these girls they never quit or gave attitude. There were so many times during practice they'd show me how much they cared about me and my health. That's family, when you are concerned about others as much or more than about yourself. The emphasis on family was the reason at mid season we changed our cheer from our team name, Briers, to "together". I wanted us to always think about the group and nothing else. 

Climbing up the ladder to take my turn cutting down the net felt unbelievable. Five months earlier I was quitting coaching because as a cancer patient I couldn't live a normal life anymore. Thanks Carolyn, Rebecca, Sitarski, Cheese, Derks, Cesar, Emily, Madia, Sherm, Chang, Lemmon, Mc, and Kelsey for kicking my butt just as much as I kicked yours.

"I love you guys." Coach Byrne, Disney Shit (2014)

#shitkickcancer 

Cancer, ugh!: Journey, and I'm not talking about that Steve Perr...

Cancer, ugh!: Journey, and I'm not talking about that Steve Perr...: Player A: Coach, you didn't like us at the beginning, did you? Me: I don't like anyone at the beginning of the year.  My wife ...

Journey, and I'm not talking about that Steve Perry band!

Player A: Coach, you didn't like us at the beginning, did you?

Me: I don't like anyone at the beginning of the year. 

My wife has always dogged me about rushing to get to my destination, finish my projects or complete anything I've been tasked with. I never look around and enjoy the process but push through trying to get to the end of whatever I'm doing. Cancer has been a bit of a blessing as it's forced me to slow down and take everything in as I want to enjoy everything because quite frankly, I have no idea how much time I have left. I'm not packng it in but the reality is the cancer is aggressive, wasn't caught early and there's no treatment plan that's tried and true for people my age.* That's why I focus on process and not the final result. I want to take in and enjoy every second like savoring a nice glass of whiskey or a nice breeze.

The first thing I've taken in is how many people around me are really caring people and are bending over backwards giving me support. You'll never know how much this means to me! Whenever I'm down I read your messages again and again and they make me feel stronger or give me a good laugh. The offers of help, advice and hosting have blown me away. I've always been a guy who gets pretty emotional just ask anyone who's played for me. A close win over a tough opponent or an end of season win and I'm likely to start turning red eyed. 

Yesterday, I found out a group of people were getting together to have a fundraiser for me led by Erica C.! Once again, I'm tearing up as I write this. Damnit! I left Newfoundland, HOME, fifteen years ago and the notion anyone would do something like that means so much to me that it makes me want to beat cancer just so I can have more years knowing and meeting people like that. Cancer has made me take notice of all the people we meet and how when things are rough they step up and step up in a big way. In times of darkness the people who reach out might surprise you and the ones who are nowhere to be found will probably shock you. The friends I never hear from doesn't bother me for a second as this lesson called cancer has taught me to focus on the positive. Shocking!! Positive Paul is back and he's smiling like a pair of Mormons knocking on your door!

Practices have been a little more special this year as I've tried to enjoy every second of them. I've gotten to know the players as well as any team I've had in the past. Every drill has been special because I want to enjoy every second of them. Maybe that's been a difference as this is the first team I've ever coached to never go through a down period, get tired of practice or lose their interest for even a day. It's not because I've been easy on them. These players have been pushed, scolded, cursed, yelled at but they've gotten tougher and done the same for me. Side note, these players will never see Montreal Paul dancing on speakers. Sorry, but that's reserved for U19 1999. 

Family. Family. This is the roughest part. I've tried to enjoy every moment with them but it's harder to focus on each and every moment because the thought of leaving them brings on a crying fest and daddy taking a trip to the bathroom so Rebecca doesn't figure out what's going on. I think about them all the time and try to make sure we are planning on lots of family time and trips this summer because right now I feel good but I want to make sure it gets done while I'm still feeling strong. I enjoy the time laying around with my family a little more, they come to all my practices as I want to look over and see them, the quiet time of a cuddle with Rebecca take on a very special meaning for me and projects with Carolyn don't get put off. Ok that's BS! They get put off but I buy the materials sooner. We've had 600 square feet of flooring sitting in our living room for three weeks so who am I kidding. Family makes me focus more on beating this dickhead called cancer! My oncologist telling me we're going for a cure gives me optimism and hope for many more years with them. 

I no longer rush to get where I'm going but to enjoy every step. Clarence Sutton, one of the best coaches and people I've ever met, had a team use "every journey begins with a single step" one season as their motto. I've always liked it but I'm trying to enjoy every single step despite the fact this journey of mine began with a step into a huge pile of dog poop! When I say dog poop, I'm talking about a dog that are ten tacos kind of poop! Take the time to look around today and just enjoy the company you're with, listen a little closer to what people are saying, look around and take in the scenery while you're driving, exchange insurance information with the other driver of the car you just rear ended because you listened to my previous advice but most of all enjoy the positive stuff because the negative takes away from all the greatness around us. 

*Not planning on dying anytime soon. 

"Five players functioning on the floor as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important than the other." Norman Dale, Hooisers

#shitkickcancer